Chapter 3: Doors
She woke too quickly.
Her eyes snapped open and went wide, darting nervously
around her room. She sucked in a short gasp and covered her face with her
palms; blinking away her sleep and gulping back her dry throat. She felt
disorientated and muddled, like an imp had skipped through the caverns of her
mind and fiddled with her thoughts. She rubbed away the cold sweat on her
forehead and sat up, looking around her room and ensuring that everything was
where it should be.
Her nightmares had been so vivid recently.
She couldn't for the life of her decide if last night had
been a trick of her subconscious or if everything had been real. Perhaps
there'd been no Snape. No Malfoy. No secret. Maybe she was still the sole
inhabitant of her dorm. Maybe. Her tired gaze fell to the rope burns on her
arms and she exhaled a disappointed sigh. She'd wanted so bad for it to be a
dream; so willing to delude herself. Call it the brain's defence mechanisms or
call it hope. Hell, call it whatever you wanted; the fact of the matter was, it
hadn't been a nightmare.
It made her feel sick. She could actually feel the contents
of her stomach churn as she contemplated just how close he was. Just her small
bathroom between them. Just two walls.
She glanced at her clock and wanted to scream when she
realised she'd only managed three hours sleep. Hermione had honestly thought
that she would have managed to gain a little more rest considering how
exhausted she'd been. But no. Evidently, her insomnia was here to stay. Joy.
It was pushing nine in the already miserable morning, and
she could already hear the usual raindrops tapping against her window. She knew
that it was futile to try and get any more sleep, so she slowly eased herself
out of bed, grabbed her bathrobe and wand, and headed for the shower. Keeping
as quiet as she could, she peered out of her bedroom warily, catching sight of
Malfoy's discarded and scuffed shoes.
The remains of her optimism fluttered away with that final
damning observation, and she quickly slipped into the bathroom.
Shrugging off yesterday's clothes, she muttered a quick
spell to flick on the shower at a high heat. The witch turned to look at
herself in the mirror, brushing her knotted curls away from her face and
fingering the shadowy crescents under her eyes. There was too much torture on
her face, and it was tucked into the creases of her permanent frown. She looked
like a tracing-paper version of herself; paler and almost translucent. Like
frosted glass.
She focussed on her eyes and thanked Merlin when she saw the
familiar glint in them, the spark of fire and determination that had always
lingered; that had yet to be beaten.
She was fine. Just tired and wondering exactly how she was
supposed to coexist with Malfoy.
The mirror started to steam so she turned away from her
worrying reflection and released a content moan as the steamy water soothed her
shape. She closed her eyes and massaged the soap into her skin, inhaling the
vanilla scent with a calming breath. She lathered her arms first, then her
shapely chest and flat stomach, and then bent down to stroke the length of her
legs.
This felt good. Like normality, and she basked in the
sensations. She could feel her muscles easing and it was wonderful, relaxing
enough that she allowed her ever-crowded mind to cease thinking, if only to
shield the memories of last night. If only to forget that someone she despised
was sharing her dorm. A Death Eater.
It took a bit more soap, but she let it all go and allowed
herself to escape, because she knew it would only get harder from here.
Merlin, forgive her for pretending it didn't exist for some
stolen minutes.
.
.
Draco lifted one heavy lid when a feminine moan seeped into
the room. The whispers of running water had started to stir him a few moments
ago, but it was the strange sighs and mews that woke him completely. His brow
furrowed when he didn't recognise his surroundings, and he raised his head to
eye the room suspiciously.
He remembered then. He remembered that he was in Hogwarts.
Remembered he was sharing a dorm with the Mudblood. Shit.
He gnashed his teeth and his eyes went to the window. Draco
knew it wouldn't work, but he tried anyway; flinging himself off the bed and
and trying to shove it open. The clasp wouldn't budge. He drew back his fist
and smashed it into the glass as hard as he could, but it didn't even crack. He
growled as a small trickle of blood slithered across his knuckles. It hurt, but
he'd had so much worse.
Yes, definitely trapped. Definitely his new prison.
Another female purr leaked into the air and he instinctively
reached for his wand to silence the irritating sounds. But, he didn't have his
wand, did he. Didn't have a bloody thing. Not even a set of clean clothes to
put on.
"For fuck's sake," he muttered, heading back to
the bed.
He hadn't had enough rest; his movements were sluggish and
his sight blurry. He had five months of sleep to catch up on after all, and it
would have been so easy if her incessant shower noises weren't polluting his
atmosphere. He snatched the pillow and covered his ears, but it only muffled
her.
He had a sinking and scratching feeling that she did this
every morning.
.
.
Her imagination only managed to distract her for fifteen
minutes or so, before reality clawed its way back in. With a dejected breath,
she stopped the water and left the shower, returning to the mirror and palming
away the condensation. She gave this new reflection a ghost of a smile,
deciding it was notably better. The warm water had roused a healthy blush to
her skin and she felt more human. More present.
She wrapped the fluffy and practical bathrobe around her,
and spared her damp and blurry reflection one last look before she grabbed her
wand off the sink to mutter a quick drying charm for her hair, and then left
the bathroom. Her fist had just closed around the knob to her bedroom when she
heard a small knock at the main door. She cringed slightly but sorted her wits
and crossed her sitting room to answer it, and a genuine smile graced her
features when she eyed her visitor.
"Hello Dobby," she grinned, noting the large trunk
behind him.
"Morning Miss," he nodded meekly, ever the nervous
little soul. "Headmistress said for Dobby to bring you this."
"Thank you," she said, knowing they were probably
things for Malfoy. "Could you do me a favour, Dobby?"
"Yes Miss!" the House-elf chirped merrily.
"What does Miss want Dobby to do?"
"Could you possibly sort out some extra food for
me?" she requested. "And I can come to collect it later?"
"Dobby can bring it here."
"That's okay," she told him with a delicate wave
of her hand. "I'm going for a little walk later so I'll pick it up.
Honestly, it's fine."
"Yes Miss," he mumbled, obviously a little
disappointed. "I go now. Must help clean after breakfast."
She wanted to tell him to stay, feeling
substantially...safer with someone she knew around, but he was gone with a snap
of his fingers. She did some quick calculations in her head and realised that
she hadn't seen any of her friends for five days, having spent all of her free
time in the library doing what she could to assist the Order. She glanced
behind her at Malfoy's door and concluded that she would need to meet with them
soon.
They were another dose of something normal. Another escape.
Hermione pulled her robe a little tighter around herself as
a chilly breeze swept up the corridor and invaded her dorm. She jerked her wand
to levitate the chest into her sitting area, and let it crash to the floor with
a loud thud just outside Malfoy's room. She considered giving him a shout to
explain that he now had some belongings, but reasoned with her commonsense that
the Hogwarts motto was there for a reason. It really was best to let sleeping
dragons lie, especially a prejudiced, psychotic Dragon who was caged against
his will.
She jumped when the Autumn breeze shoved her door closed
with a piercing clap.
And then she could hear movement coming from his room,
accompanied by heated and masculine muttering that sounded like venom; even if
it was just muffled nonsense behind the door. She considered running for her
room to avoid the hassle, but the stubborn lioness within her wouldn't allow
it. She squared her shoulders defiantly and narrowed her eyes, preparing for
the inevitable theatrics.
His door was flung open with an agitated tug, hard enough
that it bashed into the wall, but she beat the instinct to flinch. The
frustrated Slytherin came into her sight, his tall body filling the doorframe
and clumsily clad in his trousers and his unfastened black shirt. But she
didn't notice. She refused to let her eyes wander lower than his bottom lashes,
knowing that eye-contact was power. It was control.
"You are doing my head in!" he roared, his upper
lip curled and his cheekbones high with irritation. "Could you make any
more sodding noise? You-
"You want me to make more noise?" she replied,
innocently cocking her head to the side. With a swish of her wand, all the
doors in her dorm opened and then slammed close again, and she refused her
instinct to blink at the heavy bangs. "Better for you, Malfoy?"
"Very mature of you, Granger," he sneered, and she
could feel the intensity of his stare from across the room. "You think
you're so fucking clever-
"I think we can both agree that I am fucking
clever," she cut in, a little uncomfortable with her swear word, but she
covered it well. "As you so eloquently put it-
"STOP making so much noise," he growled, his voice
a foreboding rumble that lingered between them. "Stop banging things, stop
talking, stop moving-
"I can do whatever the hell I want in my room,"
Hermione argued, faltering when he sidestepped the trunk and stalked towards
her. She backed up against the wall and raised her wand, but he didn't cease
his long strides. "Don't come near me!"
"As if I would fucking touch you," he growled,
stopping only when the end of her wand prodded his chest. "I would sooner
die-
"Be my guest," she retorted quickly. "It
would be worth it-
"I'm warning you, Granger," he sneered. "I
refuse to put up with this! It's like having a dyspraxic Giant in the
room!"
"Deal with it," she snapped, adding more pressure
to his chest with her wand, although she would swear it only pushed her further
against the wall. She quickly tugged her robe a little tighter around herself,
but if he'd noticed her post-shower attire, he gave no indication whatsoever.
Thank Merlin.
"I mean it, Granger," he scowled. "Stop
making noise or put a silencing spell on my room-
"As if I would waste my magic to accommodate you-
"Then shut the fuck up!" he yelled, slamming his
fist into the wall beside her head. The castle's magic ensured there would be
minimal damage, just a small dent, but the vibrations of the hit skimmed across
the shell of her ear and roused a reluctant shiver. "I need rest! And I
can't get any if you won't shut your Mudblood mouth!"
She drew her free hand back with the intention of hammering
it into his creamy face, but maybe she was getting too predictable. Her angry
eyes shifted to the long fingers tight around her wrist and she felt her blood
bubble like sun-stimulated acid.
"Let go of me-
"You've reached your punch quota for now," he told
her quietly. Too quiet. "You're going to have to wait another four years-
"Let go of my arm," she advised, biting out each
syllable. "Or I swear I will-
"You'll what?" he challenged, tightening his hold
and thrusting her hand against the wall, right next to the dent his fist had
left.
Her next move was instinctive and quick, and her wand was at
his throat, stabbing the space between his Adam's apple and a vein that spasmed
with his rage. Her eyes locked onto his defiantly, daring him to goad her
further. Hermione didn't doubt for a second that she would hex him to Hogsmead
and back if he continued to tease her fragile temper, but his iron-grey eyes
barely flickered, and the grip on her wrist remained firm.
"Go ahead, Granger."
And it was his confidence that rattled her the most; that
stirred her magic to pour out of her wand and scorch his skin.
"You fucking bitch!" he shouted, stumbling back
and clutching the fresh burn on his neck. "You'll pay for that-
"I've had enough of you," she told him, her wand
still trained on the blond. "Go back to your room and get some sleep-
"Don't you even try to boss me around you filthy-
"I'm going out," Hermione explained steadily, even
if her anger was begging to skip into her words. "So you will have a good
few hours undisturbed sleep. I suggest you make the most of them-
"Then piss off already," he grumbled, turning his
back to her and heading to his room.
Another door slammed, and she allowed herself to grimace
this time.
She needed to get out. The living room was tainted with new
and uninvited scents, and she felt like a hunted badger being smoked out of her
set. She tore her gaze away from his door and rushed to her bedroom, changing
as quick as she physically could. Fully dressed in her jeans and a comfortable
jumper to fight the cold, she swiftly left her Head Girl dorm and started for
the Library.
The walk was so much longer than she remembered, and the
students that were littered sparsely in the corridors were watching her. She
would swear it. But they couldn't know about her vile houseguest...could they?
Their lingering stares said otherwise and she quickened her paranoid steps
until she was racing with burning thighs and slapping footfalls. And then she
smacked straight into a tall wall of flesh, but at least it was polite enough
to catch her before she fell.
"Neville," she gasped, regaining her balance on
his outstretched arms. "Oh, thank God-
"Hermione," he breathed with evident concern.
"Are you alright? You-
"I'm fine," she rushed, tucking a stray curl away
with trembling fingers. "I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was-
"You're really pale," Neville commented. "Are
you ill or something?"
"No, not ill," she shook her head, offering him a
false smile. "I just haven't had any breakfast yet."
"We haven't seen you in ages," he told her, and
she realised then just how much he'd matured. "Ginny and Luna were saying
they missed you yesterday and-
"I know I've been rubbish recently," she sighed,
her eyes downcast. "I'm sorry, I've just been trying to help Harry and
Ron-
"You need a break, Hermione," he told her.
"Its not good for you, and you really do look ill. Just come and meet us
for dinner later?"
She was too tired to protest. "Alright," she
mumbled, earning a pleased smile from her friend. "I'll meet you in the
Great Hall later."
She slipped past him without waiting for a reply and
continued her urgent pursuit for the library, shuddering when a hungry growl of
thunder shimmied along the corridors. But it was okay; she could see her target
now. She threw herself against the doors and savoured a deep breath to still
her jittery chest.
Her cider-tinted gaze flickered around the empty chairs and
abandoned desks, instinctively knowing that the vast space was only hers yet
again. Even Madam Pince had spent less and less time amongst her precious books
and tomes, instead passing most of her time with the professors.
Company could do that for some people; distract from the
fear and grief.
She supposed that most people found it more appropriate to
enjoy the company of loved ones instead or preparing for exams that might never
come to pass. Perhaps even she would have snubbed her favourite hobby if she
could actually see any of her loved ones. But she couldn't...
Hermione went straight to her usual table, right at the back
in the restricted section. Her desk was tucked away amongst the seldom-used
bookshelves, with the perfect amount of seclusion for her to toss aside her
troubling notions and swim away with the paragraphs. This was her sanctuary.
Lost with the seductive ink-kissed pages, she could forget
almost anything.
She Accio'd her most recent text on Horcruxes and started to
read, praying that Malfoy's sneering features would be erased from her mind. At
least, for a little while.
.
.
Draco dragged the trunk into his room and quickly examined
the contents with a critical eye. Well, it could have been substantially worse.
While the clothes consisted of items he would have never picked himself, at
lest there were no horrid hints of red or gold amongst the fabrics. There were
a few pairs of black trousers, some white and black shirts and then three or
four polo-jumpers in black and grey too. At the bottom of the chest were some
simple vests and a set of standard wizarding robes, accompanied with some black
shoes, socks and extra underwear.
It was more than he'd expected, but less than he'd hoped
for.
With a bitter grunt, he started to organise them in the
provided wardrobe the Muggle way. Merlin, he missed his wand. McGonagall may as
well have ripped off one of his limbs, the sodding cow.
His wand had managed to keep him occupied when he'd been
confined to the shed with Snape; whether he'd simply stretched the extent of
his conjuring and transfiguration skills or practised new spells, it had always
encouraged time to go that little bit quicker. And now that scraggly old hag
had confiscated the only thing he could use to divert himself from hollow hours
of nothingness.
He changed his clothes and simply sat on his bed for Merlin
knew how long, trying to think of something to do.
He was no idiot; he knew that his inactivity and the
imprisonment would do damaging things to him. His sleeping pattern was already
buggered, and it was only a matter of time before his mind would start to close
in on itself. He'd read the countless stories of foolish wizards who had locked
themselves in closets and eventually gone insane after staring at the same four
walls and having nothing to do.
He needed a deterrent; something to concentrate on and
provide him with a goal, not matter how insignificant it seemed.
Draco headed into the main area of the dorm and steered
himself toward the small kitchenette, pointlessly plucking open the cabinets.
They were full of the expected products, but he had no idea how to prepare them
without his magic.
He settled on two green apples and slowly scanned his
surroundings, his stormy eyes settling on a set of shelves practically buckling
under the weight of various books. He stared at them for a long minute,
rationalising that reading would be an ideal way to keep him engaged.
But no. They were the Mudblood's. He didn't want to touch
her things if he could help it.
He continued to study the room as he gnawed away at the ripe
fruit, and absently started counting.
.
.
She didn't meet her friends for lunch.
It was a conscious decision, and one that she regretted a
few hours later, but she'd honestly thought she'd found something interesting.
However, she'd forgotten that the French and Latin translations for the word
crux were two entirely different things.
She'd made a quick trip to the kitchens to collect the extra
food she'd requested and grab a simple ham sandwich, but otherwise didn't leave
the library. When the day had finally started to simmer into the evening, she'd
barely noticed. Time was an irrelevant mess amongst the creaking bookcases, but
when night blanketed the sky and her Lumos started to waver alongside her
concentration, she decided it was best she return to her room.
A sad glance at her watch informed her that it was midnight,
and it had been yet another disappointing day without any progress. She blamed
the echoes of her argument with Malfoy for her inability to engage completely
with her task, but accepted that her insomnia probably didn't help.
Trudging her aching limbs back to her room, she allowed
herself a relieved sigh when she found her dorm bathed in darkness and no sign
of the Slytherin bastard who should have been suffocating in an Azkaban cell.
Mumbling a spell to illuminate the room, she set about
putting the food in the appropriate cupboards and made herself a clumsy cup of
tea. And then she could feel eyes on her, rubbing angry splinters into the back
of her head.
With a startled gasp, she spun around and knocked over her
hot drink to find him loitering in his doorframe again, observing her with
fresh irritation. He watched her closely, like a territorial wolf who'd missed
two meals. He'd been waiting for her to return after the inevitable boredom had
ignited the idea to pick a fight with her the moment she'd walked through the
door.
"Little jumpy there, Granger," he remarked
quietly, crossing his arms. "Do I make you uncomfortable?"
"You make me sick," she told him squarely, her
words crisp with honesty.
"Believe me when I say the feeling's mutual," he
snarled. "You're making noise again-
"Shut up and go to bed-
"Put some silencing spells on my room-
"NO!" the witch yelled, her chest inflating as she
drew in a seething breath. "I made it very clear that I would NOT waste my
magic on you!"
"Yes, you will," he responded calmly, taking a few
strides and effectively circling her. "I shouldn't have to listen to you-
"Well, tough luck," she snapped, slamming her
palms against the counter between them. "This is MY room! I shouldn't have
to listen to you, or even look at you!"
"Tough luck," Draco echoed, a crease slicing
across his forehead with impatience. "Take it up with the old bitch and do
us both a favour-
"Shut up!" she shouted, scrunching her eyes closed
and quaking with her anger now. "Just stay out of my way, Malfoy-
"And how the fuck am I supposed to do that?" he
fired back. "In case you haven't noticed, I can't leave your little shitty
dorm and it's hardly the most spacious room."
Her glare flickered with the glaze of oncoming tears, but
she fought them away before he could notice. "Then just stay in your room-
"No," he interrupted arrogantly, placing his own
hands on the counter and bringing his face to her level. "No, I find
watching you squirm too amusing, Mudblood-
"Do you honestly think that silly little word bothers
me any more?" she questioned with lowered eyebrows. "Do you really
believe I care what you think?"
"I think you care a lot about how people perceive you-
"You are not people!" she barked, smacking her
palms down on the surface again. "You are just...You're just-
"Go on, Granger," he encouraged, his voice
deceptively inviting. "How exactly do you feel about me? I'm
curious."
She paused and panted out a couple of hot breaths as her
glare roved over his sharp and expectant face. His pebble-grey eyes were as
hard as quartz; cold and illegible. They didn't waver, just waited for her
answer. He wanted to know? Fine, it had been writhing under her skin for longer
than he could comprehend and she could stand.
"You're the most spoilt and selfish person I've ever
known," she told him quietly, annunciating each tangy syllable. "You
have done nothing in your entire life but bully people and you wouldn't know a
real friend if they slapped you in the face, because you're too busy looking
down at everyone to give a shit-
He snorted. "I'll have you know-
"I'm not finished!" she spat, aiming her wand at
him for good measure. "For years you have just managed to avoid becoming
exactly like your father; evil-
"You will not talk about my father!" he shouted,
too enraged to consider the wand by his chest. "You have no FUCKING right-
"You wanted my opinion!" she retorted. "I
always knew you were a vile little bastard, but I never thought you would
become so twisted that you would become a Death Eater! Harry knew! Tried to
tell us, but no! For some stupid reason, I thought you had a small dose of
decency left in you, and I was so wrong-
"First time for-
"And you turned into what everyone expected," she
ignored him, pulling away and pacing a few angry steps to the side.
"Follower to Voldemort and pathetic excuse for a human, because you
couldn't even do that right!"
He growled. There it was, being shoved in his face again;
his failure. "Are you quite done?"
She sent him a fierce scowl, and he noted it was so much
more intense than any look she'd ever dared to flash him before. Good. Getting
her all riled up was bloody hilarious.
"You are sick and spiteful," she hissed, feeling
her magic crackle between them as she tried to steady her sparking emotions.
"And you always will be, and I find that very sad. You want to know know
what I feel for you? Pity. That you could allow yourself to become what you
are."
Another guttural rumble quivered at the back on his throat.
"Predictable as ever, Granger," he slurred. "Always convinced
there's good in everyone-
"Not everyone," she hushed him, and she almost
sounded forlorn. "Not you. Not any more."
"Well, at least you're learning not to set yourself up
for disappointment," he shrugged his bored shoulders, cocking an eyebrow
when she took some more steps away from him. "Where are you going?"
"Bed," she muttered, sparing him another
golden-spiced glare. "I am done with this-
"Hold on now," he protested, marching to block her
exit. "It's my turn-
"I thought I made it very clear," she mumbled past
tense lips. "That I didn't care about your opinion of me-
"I didn't care about your opinion of me," he said
slowly straightening his back to loom over her.
"But you asked-
"Because I thought it would be amusing," he
revealed, indulging in a cruel smirk. "And I was right-
"I know how you feel about me," she argued, trying
her hardest to act nonchalant. "Mudblood this, bookworm that. You're
rather predictable yourself, Malfoy-
"I may surprise you."
Merlin curse her curiosity for shrouding her commonsense for
the umpteenth time. "Fine," she grumbled, eyeing him warily and
tightening the fingers coiled around her wand. "How do you feel about me,
Malfoy?"
"You repulse me," he sneered with sudden
hostility. "The fact that we have to breathe the same air makes me want to
vomit. You're disgusting; a rancid smear across the Wizarding World. You don't
deserve your magic-
"Repetitive nonsense," she forced her eyes to
roll. "I'm going to bed. Move, or I'll make you-
"I'm just building up," he promised darkly, and
something untamed and severe flared behind his stony eyes. She shifted her feet
but refused to look away. Needed to keep eye-contact. Control.
"I don't-
"You know you don't deserve your magic," he
continued, baring his ivory teeth in an accusing snarl. "And that's why
you work so hard, isn't it? That's why you spend all your pathetic time
studying-
"I happen to like reading-
"But you feel the need to prove yourself," Draco
silenced her with a confident and condescending tone. "Because you know
your magic isn't rightfully yours." Uncertainty mingled with honey, and he
relished his victorious grin. "Because you know you're inferior."
Her lip twitched. His smirk stretched.
"And that's why it still kills you when I call you
Mudblood," he finished with delicious smugness, bobbing his head with a
proud nod. He could see that Gryffindor tenacity fighting to control her
tongue, so he stepped aside and headed for is bedroom door, satisfied that she
was suitably rattled. Well, at least the revolting Muggle-spawn had
successfully managed to provide some entertainment for this dull-as-dust day.
His fingers had just grazed the brass of the door-handle
when there was hot push against his spine, propelling him forward. He smacked
head-first into the adjacent wall and released a grunt of discomfort as he slid
down the cold surface. The impact was still buzzing across his skin, but he
knew the pain would replace it within a heartbeat or hum of breath.
He raised his head with every intention of charging Granger
and smacking her into the wall, but he barely caught her blurred shape ghost
into her room, before the shrill bite of a blunt door deafened him for a
moment. The pain subsided after a few seconds; just a little bump to his head
and an ache in his back. He quickly gathered himself to his feet and his eyes
did a slow scan of the room, his dilated pupils focussing on the bookshelves
again.
Ah yes, his previous distraction before the Mudblood had
returned.
He had always been good with numbers, and had decided that
counting would be the thing to keep him sane.
Granger had one-hundred and one books in her sitting room;
fifty-six of which were black, forty red, three blue and two green. Across all
the spines were a total of four-hundred-and-sixty words, excluding the authors'
names. He had double-checked this and stored the information away in his head,
and Draco's stare recommenced roaming around the room; searching for his next
counting project for tomorrow. His next sanity-preserving task.
But his eyes automatically fell to her door, and he felt the
rage bristle along the fine hairs coating his body and sink into his pores. Entertaining
or not, the girl made his temper churn. He would find something else to count
tomorrow.
.
.
Hermione slumped against the door and hastily murmured the
silencing charms before she released a gargled sob. Dear Merlin, she hated him.
Hated him! She roughly smudged away her treacherous tears and stumbled on shaky
legs as she made her way to her bed.
She was denied a blink of sleep all night, and the witch's
anger at the slimy Slytherin niggled at her until the birds came with the navy
morning. She despised the birds.
And that was day one.
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